In-laws

Today I want to step on people's toes because it is necessary. A wise woman said to me once,Kulani most mother in-laws mistreat and hate their daughter in-laws because as she tells her the faults of her husband silently she is exposing her failures and this makes mother in-laws angry and defensive of their son's bad behavior.

I really understand that aspect but it doesn't exempt their bad behavior, instead of hating the daughter in-law,why not call your son to order and help him to be a better husband because this is beneficial to the children than the wife. No wife loves to fix the faults of another woman, it is not easy and it is quite draining.

Should mother in-laws wise up and see their daughter in-laws as their own flesh and blood, not a competitor, marriages will be a bliss. A husband shouldn't be given an ultimatum between mother and wife, it is harsh and very unfair.

I aspire to be a loving mother in-law and to love who my children love. We find many mother in-laws going against God's words "What God has joined together,let no man separate". Married or unmarried, do not treat your son as your own husband, desire for him to grow and be responsible. A mother's job never ends meaning even if your son is 50 years, if he goes astray it is still your responsibility to correct the behavior not condone it. I do bear in mind that a mother will never send their children to go do wrong things but how you react to it exposes your character.

I find it disturbing for a mother in-law to be supporting her son in cheating on his wife,simply because she thinks the wife has pride bla bla bla. Women should support and stand together to stop this cheating vicious circle that will see HIV and divorces being lessened.

You as a mother cannot expect your son to financially support you and neglect his family.Genesis 2:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."Most of the hating comes because mother in-law feels entitled to her son's salary, truth be told if your son and wife decides to give you money every month it is because they want and have agreed not out of obligation.


A daughter in-law will always love and respect but they too are human,they cannot allow all the abuse 12 months,4 seasons. It is really not fair. Worse her children are not enjoying having a grandmother because only kids from your girls are loved and treated well. This order is wrong and needs to be corrected.

Love him/her because your child chose to spend the rest of his/her life with her. Correct him/her like you will your own children, don't capitalize on his/her weak points and use it against him/her. Forgive him/her like you do your own children.

Same with sisters to the husband,if you are lonely kindly please go and look for a man and stop causing havoc in your brothers' marriages. It is not the fault of the wife that you are not married, that some man broke your heart, you are taking it out on the wrong person. The wife is not there to replace you as a daughter but to build a family with your brother, no need to turn your mother against her and form an alliance to bring the poor wife down. Yes you know your brother for all your life but he has grown and decided to marry, respect his choices. It is not your brother's duty to feed and cloth your children, do not expect it.If he did that before he got married it is fine he was single, now the tables have turned respect that.

Makoti and Mkhwenyane the way you treat your parents and siblings, please do the same with your spouse's family. Yes you will make mistakes, it's understandable you are human but always swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness as you will from your parents. The element of respect should also be displayed in your spouse's family, do not burn bridges when you fight with your spouse by insulting his/her family when they try to call you to order. Husband, your wife's sister is your own sister do not lust over her and make her uncomfortable to even visit your home.

Some how the ancient culture, that promoted husband's to marry the wife's little sister should the wife die/be barren and the wife to be married by the deceased husband's bother created this Sodom and Gomorrah that makes it right for husband's to chase the wife's sister even if she is alive and kicking and fruitful too. That practice was wrong and greedy too and now we are left with a messed up world.


I conclude by saying if we can remove in-law and just say my daughter or mother maybe we can start seeing one another in a different view and the world can really be a better place.