Being a married woman

I remember when i was planing for my wedding, i wanted everything to be perfect. It was indeed beautiful and perfect because all things were in my control.We attended the pre-marital counseling for 6 months as we thought it was essential and beneficial. I really thought my marriage life would be perfect and beautiful like my wedding but all challenges are found in marriage not wedding and the worse thing is that it is beyond my control. Dealing with the challenges was not easy as none of the things I was told at the pre-marital counseling could help. Then i realized that people are different, even the challenges; what our marriage counselor shared with us is what he went through not what we will go through as he wouldn't have guessed the exact challenges. How i wished we went through the challenges that he shared cause i would have aced it with flying colors. I really thought this was one easy journey but what i appreciate about the marriage journey is the fact that it brings a person more closer to God, because to travel it you need to go back to Him and ask for the travel guide.

I had my own expectations of marriage and was once one of those women who swore never to stay in marriage if this and that can happen. When you are single, you learn to be independent and everything is in singular but the minute you become married you learn to be considerate and to share. I changes to We.

One thing i have learned is that marriage is for two imperfect people trusted by God to enter into His perfect sanctuary.I find myself going against what i stand for, to do what i strongly believe in and that is what God says about marriage.

What i have realized is that living to please God is hard as it is seen to the world as being cheap and desperate but this is the decision i have taken as pleasing people was not benefiting me in any way.I rather be called names by worldly people than sin against God. We all have different religions and i respect every person's religious beliefs and hope people will respect mine too.

In the 2 years of marriage i have learned forgiveness, this is one thing that is not easy as the scars are too deep but this is what the word of God teaches us. Most of the things were very hard for me and left me shattered but God said you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength, I saw myself being strengthened and deciding to forgive helped to heal quickly and let go.

Forgiveness is like cancer, it eats you alive and live you with terminal illnesses. This is one of the attributes I thank God for giving me(the spirit of forgiveness). To the world that is full of anger and hatred, you seem insane to say I don't care what he did, I forgive him anyway.

The questions I get is what if he repeats it and my answer is I will still forgive him. This I am doing out of my own free will with the help from God as I am also a sinner saved by grace, in my everyday walk I always fall short and God forgives me either way,He doesn't even wait for my apology cause Christ already paid the price.

I know men always take advantage of kind-hearted women but what I know is that only God can avenge. I was not born to punish people who hurt me, I was born for a purpose and I won't know that purpose when I pursue everyone who hurts me,I always choose to invest my energy positively.

Old african women had a lot to say about marriage and I once thought of them as suckers for punishment cause nothing they said made sense,dirt is dirt and belongs in the rubbish bin but through my own experiences as a married woman with the help of the Word of God and prayer I now understand what they were actually saying. Give it a name it is okay as long as it makes one sleep better but I call it honoring the vows I made to God and no matter the steep I will not be disobedient to Him as He has never failed me. I am confident that even in my hard times, He who has promised is faithful He will continue with the good work that He has started when I said I do on 25 January 2014 till completion.

With all being said, does it mean that wives must settle for less NO.I mean a prudent wife stays at the feet of Jesus Christ, approaches and wets the throne of God with tears. My motto is I am married to God not to my husband and God being God He will never leave nor forsake me and His love for me is unconditional.

In this journey I will tread on the lion and the cobra;I will trample the great lion and the serpent.Because she loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue her;I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.

This is my confidence, that God has my back and will turn my mourning into dancing and sadness into joy. The devil is defeated by this word of my testimony.